I'll Kill You Style by Finn Hudson
by SergeantGullible12
Summary: Finn feels like it's time to give Blaine his famous speech of threat...but it's Glee so he sings. R&R my crack/parody/songfic!


**Disclaimer- I don't own Gangnam Style because I am not PSY and filthy rich and I do not own Glee because it would be renamed The Klaine Show. **

**A/N- I felt like making a parody of this chart topping song. I was reading a fic where Finn asked if he had to give the "I'll rip your legs off if you hurt my brother" speech. And now this is my headcanon. **

**~Play Gangnam Style by PSY in the background when Finn starts singing for full effect~**

**XxXxX**

It was the Friday Night Dinner at the Hudmel household and also the "Friday Night Klaine Dinner" because Kurt was introducing Blaine tonight. How exciting.

The family all sat in the lounge room, pizza already ordered, interrogating Blaine.

Finn was late, mentioning something about getting back up dancers and costumes. No one questioned it though. Because that was an extremely normal thing for an average, straight teenage boy to do.

They all heard a slam, signalling Finn's arrival. He entered the room in a powder blue tuxedo jacket, black sunglasses and black pants. Puck, Sam, Mike and Artie were behind him, all wearing white mini dresses. Artie held a boom box and placed it on the table.

"Burt, Mom, it is time to give Blaine my speech. But I thought, what the hell, I'm in glee club so I must sing. Listen to this, Blaine, and know every word is true," Finn said and Artie pressed play.

The music started. The beginning to a familiar, famous Korean song...

Finn started singing.

"I'll break the legs off this guy.

Off this guy

This song is for any guy Kurt brings home

Polite, loud or crazy I don't care if he's made of foam

If he is romantically involved with my little brother

I've got a few threats for ya

If you dare hurt Kurt

I'll rip your arms off and burn them in a fire

If you dare hurt Kurt

I'll make you cut off your own penis

If you dare hurt Kurt

I'll rip off your legs and make you eat them

If you dare hurt Kurt I'll chop off your head!

I'm a kind, nice bigger brother

You should know,"

"Hey!" Sam went, being the back up singer.

"Everyone knows (Hey!)

But if you touch him without permission

I'll hurt you (Yeah)

I'll hurt you (Yeah)

Because my duty is to protect Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt..."

"I'll kill you guys (Yah),"

This is when they all did the horsey dance, even Artie was grooving in his chair. Mike was going a bit wild, practically turning into a horse doing this dance.

"Kill you guys

I'll- I-I'll kill you guys (Yah)

Kill you guys

I'll- I-I'll kill you guys

A jerk can't be his boyfriend

I'll- I-I'll kill you guys

A jerk can't be his boyfriend

I'll- I-I'll (Yay yay yay yay yay yay)

Now not all guys are asses I totally know that

But for the variety that are should know that

If you mess with Kurt I'll tell my friends where you are at

And we'll beat you 'till your flat!"

They all made a menacing pose at Blaine, who shrank in his seat.

"If you dare hurt Kurt

I'll gouge your eyes out while your still living," Puck threatened.

"If you dare hurt Kurt

I'll punch your nose off so it is left hanging," Mike warned.

"If you dare hurt Kurt I'll set hungry Rottweilers with rabies on you," Sam said, glaring.

"If you dare hurt Kurt, you'll be a freaking jerk!," Artie said, serious.

"I'm a kind, nice bigger brother

You should know (hey)

Everyone knows (hey)

But if you touch him without permission

I'll hurt you (yeah)

I'll hurt you (yeah)

Because my duty is to protect Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt...

I'll kill you guys (Yah)

Kill you guys

I'll- I-I'll kill you guys (Yah)

Kill you guys

I'll- I-I'll kill you guys

A jerk can't be his boyfriend

I'll- I-I'll kill you guys

A jerk can't be his boyfriend

I'll- I-I'll (Yay yay yay yay yay yay)

I'll store your head in a pickle jar

I'll make your skin look tomato red raw

But if your kind, if your very nice

I won't use my vice but you better think twice

YOU KNOW THE GAME YOUR PLAYIN'?

I'll kill you guys (Yay yay yay yay yay yay)

A jerk can't be his boyfriend

I'll- I-I'll kill you guys

A jerk can't be his boyfriend

I'll- I-I'll (Yay yay yay yay yay yay)

I'll kill you guys (yah)."

They all stood in there finale poses, breathing heavily and smiling at the success of their performance.

Blaine looked completely and utterly freaked out, close to peeing himself. Kurt just sat there, crossing his arms and tapping his foot in impatience. That was totally payback for when he sang "Why Do You Keep Getting Back Together?" to Quinn and Finn last week. But it was worth it.

Carole and Burt just sat there, wondering why all of the teenagers sang and they never got a song. Carole had been dying to sing "Rumour Has It" to Quinn ever since last year.

"Well, the pizza was delivered half way through the song and I've already ate half of one. Finn, Kurt, Blaine, Carole get your butts down here and eat. The rest of you get the hell out of my house!" Burt said, shooing the other teenage boys away.

So that was an ordinary night, full of ordinary events. Almost as ordinary as when Finn and Rachel stayed together for more than a day.

**A/N- I apologise for that crack fic. I'm just insane. A complete and utter lunatic. R&R please! **


End file.
